October 21, 2014

i'm lucky

all day today, this reminder has been in my head: i. am. lucky.

i have a loving husband. i have a beautiful son. together we make a family, though not under the same roof, still family. i'm lucky to have constant contact with my husband, though most days it's hard to not to miss his physically. like in the morning, being able to watch his chest rise and fall as he is still fast asleep beside me. or how is kiss would taste after coming home from a long day. i wonder often just how he would be with our son. it hurts to know he never got to hold his 3lb baby, to know just how small he really was. i picture him laying on the floor next to him, smiling back at each other, as he tells him story after story. i yearn for these moments, most of which other sons and daughters have the privilege to, every single day. but then there are some that don't. there's a saying that comes into my head often, it could always be worse. it's so hard not to look at the sad parts of life, and not wallow in it. yes i've been husbandless physically for over a year. yes i'm raising our son pretty much on my own. yes i miss him every day. but in each passing day, it's always one day closer as i say, reminding myself that i am lucky:

i have a loving husband. i have the most beautiful son. and together we make a family. and for that i will always be lucky.

October 17, 2014


"a portrait, once a week, for the year of 2014"

week forty two.

seriously. hands down. the best smile ever. my favorite photo of him. ever. no matter what happened throughout the day. even when nothing seems to be going right, this little smile can make everything go away. i know it sounds cheesy, and believe me, the smile back on my face is probably just as cheesy. but in all honesty, he gets me through each day. somehow. someway. even though this deployment seems like it's taking forever to end, he keeps me busy. if he wasn't here, i'd probably be going insane reorganizing our entire house a second time over, or buying too much extra crap thrifting that we don't need. and for that i'm thankful. or should i say my husband is even more thankful.